RE: Sex, Etc.

Concerned Parents Fight Against Unhealthy Sexual Advice for Pre-Teens

For its initiative and courage, Salvo is pleased to commend the following letter, written by the concerned father of a 7th-grader to his fellow parents of students in the local middle school.

Dear Parents of Middle School Students:

There is a magazine in the school media center entitled Sex, etc. In September, I went to the public school board meeting to request that this publication be removed from the center, thinking its presence was a slip-up that had somehow escaped notice. I read aloud some of the content you'll find below, and was told that it would take 30 days to review the challenged material, and that after a committee was formed to discuss it, a recommendation would be made to the school board, and a decision would follow. I also asked to know who ordered the magazine, and who approved it. To date I have not been given any answers.

My wife and I consider this publication totally unsuitable for middle-school students. Our son is 12 years old with his innocence intact (not an easy thing these days), and we resent the exposure he has been given to this magazine, in which teens 18 and older (called "sexperts") answer the questions of younger teens—a seriously flawed approach for obvious reasons. If the school feels it necessary to keep material on hand to help answer sensitive sexual questions from 12- and 13-year-olds, why not provide a magazine where careful answers are provided by mature adults? Would any of you parents send your pre-teen sons and daughters to 18- or 19-year-old college students for answers to their questions about sex?

The copy of Sex, etc. which I showed to Superintendent Maryann Banks and the Board of Education has the look of a comic book. Several copies are scattered throughout the media center, along with other back issues of Sex, etc. Here is a sampling of the content:

In the Q&A section, one girl writes: "I usually feel insecure about how long it takes me to reach orgasm and I don't know how to communicate it to my boyfriend." Another 16-year-old asks: "Is the hookup culture acceptable? I feel like everyone views it as a taboo, and I've never minded it." To this question an 18-year-old staff writer replies that there is "absolutely nothing wrong" with "hooking up" as long as you and your partner "know what you're getting into." Our impressionable son can read this, along with discussions about penis sizes, breast sizes, and even references to anal sex. One young boy, upset about his penis size, tells of his embarrassment when, while having sex with his girlfriend, she asked him if he was "in yet," and he was "all the way in." Another young girl was worried about the small size of her breasts until she realized how "properly they fit into the hand."

Your 7th-grader can read an article entitled "Being Transgender Is Perfectly Normal." There is also an article about gender expectations, such as that boys are the only ones who really want sex, or that some girls think they're expected to "gasp and moan" during sex.

Several pages feature contraceptive "superheroes" like "Captain Condom," "Super Patch," and 10 or 12 others, who show how your young child can have sex while avoiding pregnancy. "Captain Condom" stands out as best, because not only will he prevent pregnancy, but he can also stop sexually transmitted diseases.

Once upon a time, school libraries displayed biographies, literary classics, reference materials, adventure stories, and a world atlas to inspire the imagination. Now the imagination of these young children is directed differently.

My wife and I have taught our children that sex is sacred, an amazing gift from God the Creator, designed for enjoyment in the context of marriage and family. Here at school our parental approach is being blatantly contradicted.

As superintendent, Dr. Banks had the authority to immediately remove this exceptionally inappropriate material, but she did not. Nor has she answered my question about who used our public dollars to purchase this explicit periodical, and who approved it. There could be a legal issue here, one I intend to explore, namely, "contributing to the corruption of a minor."

My wife and I are not ignorant of the culture, with its push towards gender fluidity, same-sex marriage, and promiscuity. It's hard to keep up with the changing landscape, as there's always something new on the horizon. But one thing everyone (including the law) still agrees on is the need to protect the innocence of young children. And it's we parents, not the school district, who are responsible for the moral formation of our children. My wife and I are certainly are not on board with current cultural trends and agendas. Nor should public education embrace a particular agenda, as it has done by providing this magazine, for Sex, etc. is anything but neutral on sexual ethics.

The school's health education approach is a related concern, because students in our district are not being given the full picture. They are not being shown statistics that challenge the kind of sexual promiscuity many of these teenagers are dangerously involved in. Scientific studies—not just religious convictions—consistently point to serious problems associated with early sexual experimentation. These problems include trauma, long-term psychological issues, post-abortion syndrome, and increased risk for suicide (especially among girls). The CDC—hardly a religious organization—has studies on teen sexuality that are consistently ignored by public-school sex educators. Why not present some of its more troubling findings to students? Why no balance? Why the eagerness to present only one side? There's nothing wrong with a healthy scare when it is based on facts.

Because our teens lack needed information, they do not have the ability to properly assess risk. When Student Based Youth Services come into the health education classroom to give presentations on contraception and abortion, there is a heavy bias at work. Since core curriculum standards require it, a passing reference is made to abstinence as the only sure way to prevent sexual disease, but the sum total of the presentation encourages kids to embrace early sexual activity.

College campuses have been dealing with the fallout for years. Not long ago, Time magazine featured a cover story on "The New Crisis in Higher Education." What is the "new crisis"? It's the casual hook-up culture, which has created an epidemic that keeps administrators scrambling. Our own middle school curriculum and others around the country, which fail to present abstinence as a serious option, are to blame.

—Peter and Theresa Cardillo